Friday, January 29, 2010

What's In A Lousy Band Name?

So I was inspired to write this week's blog by reading another website where I get most of my music news. The site name isn't important, as this is not a cheap plug, but the band names I have learned about are sometimes as interesting as the news itself.

I won't say a lot about these names as they speak for themselves. Everyone has an opinion on if "Beatles" was brilliant, or meant nothing as a name. Keep in mind, the name is not a reflection of the music, you can love a band and still think it has a God awful name. For instance:

God Lives Underwater-now taking a quick peek at another site that is basically an online encyclopedia (again, no names here-or help from the audience) we know the name was derived from a previous band called GLU and those initials were used as a backronym to form that name. Whatever. It struck me as stupid from the moment I heard the name, and sorry, but I think the Stones woulda been screwed if they had used it first.

Flaming Lips-I've heard worse, but this sounds like a venereal disease.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus-Really was EVERY other name taken? If I started a band and for some reason God himself assigned us this name, I would break them up immediately and give up my dreams of fame and fortune-and risk facing his wrath.

As Tall As Lions-What are you trying to say with this name? Are you quirky? Ironic? In a competition with The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus?

Every Time I Die-Yea, sounds kinda "Metal" but when it comes to naming a band, use a name, not a part of a sentence.

Finger Eleven-They were originally called "The Rainbow Butt Monkeys" and dare I say it, that name made more sense.

Chickenfoot-Before you get mad, I didn't say that their music sucked. This is indeed a supergroup in every sense of the word, so why give it a crummy name? The origins of the name come from the fact that there were originally three members and there are three talons on a chicken's foot. I guess if there hadn't been three brothers named Jonas then they wouldn't have to settle for this.

I could go on and maybe someday I will again. But for those that read this and say "What difference does it make? What's in a name and why should it affect who listens to them?"

To that I say, How do you think all those girls named "Bertha" feel?

1 comment:

  1. I'll see your "Red Jumpsuit Apparatus" and raise you one "Super Heavy Goat Ass" (no, really: http://www.metal-archives.com/band.php?id=97452 ). If you don't like that, you can "Kiss the Anus of a Black Cat" (http://www.kraak.net/kattengat/). Not sure anything tops them, but random others from the top of my head, and sorted for easy reference:

    65daysofstatic
    A Place to Bury Strangers
    The Be Good Tanyas
    Black Math Horsemen
    Black Shape of Nexus
    Death Cab for Cutie
    Flowers from the Man who Shot Your Cousin
    I Love You But I've Chosen Darkness
    Jackie-O Motherfucker
    Kung Fu Sophie & the Slow Dying Death
    Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
    Miasma & The Carousel of Headless Horses
    Monkey Swallows the Universe
    The Moon Lay Hidden Beneath a Cloud
    Murder by Death
    Super Chikan
    Super Furry Animals
    A Swarm of the Sun
    Thee More Shallows
    Them Crooked Vultures
    Thin White Rope (yes, in the same context Burroughs used the phrase)
    This Will Destroy You
    Tones on Tail
    Transcending Bizarre?
    Trembling Blue Stars
    True Colour of Blood
    Two Lone Swordsmen
    Velvet Acid Christ
    VHS or Beta
    A Wake a Week
    Worriedaboutsatan

    Like your own disclaimer, this isn't a comment on the actual music of any of these, many of which are in my own library, simply in their poor or warped choice of band name.

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