Here's an interview I did awhile back with my hair. I thought I'd share it so you might get to know me a little bit better....
Note:This is not a vanity project.
Sam: Hey hair, what's up?
My Hair: Eh, just hanging around
Sam: You do want me to call you "Hair" right?
My Hair: Well, calling me "Ass" would be silly wouldn't it?
Sam: Yea, I guess you're right, so the first question is you've been through a LOT of changes over the years, anything in particular stick out to you?
My hair: Yea, that cowlick you had when you were six.
Sam: I see what you did there, but what I meant was, any particular style?
My hair: Oh, well that time you got a mohwak, what were you pissed off at me?
Sam: Not at all, I really liked it actually.
My hair: Yea, it was cool and all, until you decided to trim it yourself.
Sam: Yea, that's true, live & learn.
Sam: Hair, ever since you've grown out, you've been quite the conversation piece, some people have even accused you of being a wig....
My hair: Now hold it right there, where the hell, do you get off asking that cra..
Sam: I'm just saying, do you take that as a compliment?
My hair: Well it depends, on if they think I look like some kind of discount wig, or one of those like Zsa Zsa Gabor used to hock.
Sam: I'm assuming it's one of the finer quality wigs.
My hair: Now you're making me blush.
Sam: Speaking of changing colors, how do you feel about dye?
My hair: I fully endorse it.
Sam: Why's that?
My hair: Well, you want to look you're best, you know what they say: No play for Mr. Gray
Sam: Yea, but some people think it makes them look distinguished
My hair: Sam, an asshole is an asshole no matter what color their hair is.
Sam: Okay, what do you think about balding?
My Hair: Shit happens, just God don't let it happen to me!
Sam: You'd freak out?
My Hair: Yea.
Sam: Is it vanity?
My Hair: Vanity's got nothing to do with it.
Sam: Do you stare at bald people or feel sorry for them?
My Hair: No, that's what toupees and surgery are for.
Sam: What if they can't afford it?
My Hair: Then they should do it anyway, call it a beautification project. Government blows money on that shit all the time.
Sam: What do you think of ponytails?
My Hair: I'm not into bondage, man.
Sam: Did you have any idols growing up?
My Hair: John Stamos, I was crushed when he got his hair cut, I didn't curl for days, I just laid there.
Sam: That was some sad shit.
Sam: Now, you've been compared to some pretty famous hairstyles haven't you?
My Hair: Well you'd know about that, let's see, Jimmy Garvin, Jim Morrison, Cactus Jack, Bob Seger..
Sam: Are you influenced by these men?
My Hair: Oh, absolutely. I'd have to say one of my biggest influences would have to be The Beatles.
Sam: Interesting. Hair, one last question, what kind of legacy would you like to leave the world?
My Hair: Well, Sam I know how you can do things on a whim, so I wanna ask you, if the day ever comes and you decide to cut me loose, I'd like you to donate me to "Locks of Love"
Sam: Wow, I'm impressed, hair. That's very giving and selfless of you.
My Hair: I do what I can.
Sam: Well hair, I want to thank you for your time & being there for me, and I hope we're together for many more years to come.
My Hair. Word!